Advice for Day 25: Screw All the Advice

I went to my career advisor today for the third and last time today. Halfway through her contradictory advice, I felt those ridiculous tears of frustration building behind my eyes. As she discreetly tried to pass me a tissue, I wanted to just bolt from that office of reiterated “It’s a rough economy” cheer-up lines.

But just as I was about to high-tail it out of the office of torture, my advisor said one of the most valuable pieces of advice I’ve heard. She looked over my cover letter and said, “This just doesn’t sound like you.” I told her she was right. It wasn’t me. It was parts of the dozen or so people I have been receiving advice from over the past few months. I lost me sometime around the end of September.

She told me to scrap the cover letter and start over putting me into it. Because, as she so wisely pointed out, I was qualified candidate and I did kind of kick ass.

It’s hard to pinpoint when I lost that sense of self. It is not that one day I woke up and decided to give up my identity in favor of everybody else’s vision of me. It was more that my identity was whiddled away at by all those well meaning advisors and mentors, until I was a hodge podge of dozen other people’s lives.

I have been so confused when I look into the future, that I was willing to put anyone’s future into my cover letters instead of myself. It was just easier.

But in the end, I underestimated my will. It is a lot stronger than I thought and a lot harder to get to shut up. I’m not saying I can magically wash away all that advice garnered over the past few months but I can decide to listen to my gut more. And in the end I am going to give myself the deciding vote of what my future will be.